She Knows
by MelanthiaChase
Summary: She knows he loves her, even if he can't say it yet. Reid/OC


**I don't own Criminal Minds or its characters. I only own Becca and any original characters and storylines I come up with. **

**She Knows**

She knows when he needs her.

On those cases that are too much for him to handle he can count on her to give him what he needs, be it solace or companionship. She never gets hurt by him asking her to leave or tells him "no" when he asks if he can stay. She can make the demons go away.

This time he needs her at his side as he goes through the trauma of what he witnessed in his head. The mangled bodies of the women were like her, brunette, petite and pretty, subjected to things that would give de Sade nightmares. Once the ordeal was over, the Unsub captured, and the wheels had touched down he knew he needed to see her to know she was fine, safe... As he nodded his goodbyes to Morgan and JJ they knew where he was going and were glad he'd found someone who could understand.

He found his way to her apartment and knew that four am was late but he couldn't care about time, not when he needed her. He knew logically that she was ok, she'd texted him earlier, but the bodies he'd seen had made him less secure in his logic.

She opened the door dressed in her tatty purple robe and the killer rabbit slippers he'd gotten for her after their first Monty Python marathon and smiled at him. The relief that flooded him nearly floored him and he closed the distance between them. She was there and she was safe, logic be damned he needed this to know she was safe and take her from the catalog of bodies in his head.

"I missed you Spence." She said simply, knowing instinctively that he needed her voice and he found himself smiling a little. He'd missed her too and when she took him to her couch she sat quietly and ran her fingers through his hair while he rested his head in her lap, no words were needed, nor were they expected.

…

She knows he hasn't had that much experience.

It's no secret that Spencer Reid isn't exactly a ladies man. Yes, he's heard that he's attractive in a nonconventional way and he's "cute" in the way that puppies and other innocent animals are, but he's not "hot" or sexy. He doesn't possess the animal magnetism of Morgan or exude the powerful aura of Hotch or even the aged Casanova qualities of Rossi. No, he's cute and sweet and more often than not the "friend" you keep on tap for when things go badly. That's not the case where Becca's concerned. To her he's the sexiest thing she's ever seen. The most beautiful man she's ever known and it's a source of pride in him and confusion. He doesn't know how a man like him can be "it" for a woman like her. He doesn't understand how all of his idiosyncrasies that were such a turn off for other women are such a turn on for her. He's her man and nothing else matters.

He grimaces as he thinks about their first time together. It was a comedy of errors to say the least. One night after he'd taken her to eat at his favorite diner she brought him back to her place like they usually did when they could find a night together. After she'd put in Raiders she joined him on the couch and settled into his side while he let his hand play lazily with her long curls. The first few times they'd done this he'd sat on one end and she on the other until she'd asked him if he wanted to be friends or something more. That had put him into gear and since then he'd moved closer and now they usually watched the movie touching each other in some way, usually his head on her lap, her leaning against him with his arm around her, touching thighs together. It didn't matter how they touched just as long as they touched. As the movie progressed he felt her shifting against him, the heat of her seeping under his skin while the smell of her filled his senses. He felt himself shifting too and chanced a look down to see her rich hazel eyes looking at him, the look was complex, there was hope, need, anticipation and just a touch of fear in those eyes and he knew his mirrored hers. He lost control of his mind and body for a moment as he leaned down and captured her lips with his.

One thing to know about Spencer Reid is that despite not having much experience in the bedroom he's a world-class kisser with soft lips and natural born technique. It's one of the things Becca likes most about him and it was proving to benefit him as their relationship progressed. As the kiss got deeper and hormones took over he allowed her to take charge as she crawled onto his lap and moved against him. It had been too long and he was finished before they had even begun. As his cheeks pinked with embarrassment Becca just smiled and took him to the bathroom so he could clean up. While he did so she just sat on the edge of the tub, not telling him the standards, "it happens to every guy", "you'll do better next time" or countless other excuses. No she just sat there and smiled while he prattled on nervously about statistics and sexual endurance. Eventually she stood, kissing him again and leading him to the bedroom. The second time went much better.

Since that disastrous first night he's become more confident in the bedroom and realized that despite her confidence and inherent sexuality Becca didn't have much experience either. Now they learn things together.

…

She knows he's a nerd and loves him for it.

Spencer has never made it a secret that he's a nerd. His eidetic memory and multiple disorders have made it nearly impossible to be anything else. He knows every plot point of every episode of every series of Star Trek. He knows the mass and trajectory of the orbit of every planet and he knows everything there is to know about cryptography. This knowledge and his propensity to spout it at every given opportunity have made him a freak and caused him to lose the attention of more than a few people. In fact the team has developed strategies to stop his tangents before they really start. At first it felt like they were rejecting him but now he knows they were just trying to stop him from embarrassing himself. Becca reacts differently though.

When he goes off on a tangent she looks at him with those big eyes and nods along as he tells her things she never knew before or gives her a new interpretation of things she already knows. She finds his brain sexy and as a nerd herself he's fascinating. She's learned more from him in the last six months than she'd learned from all of her years in college and the academy and delights in telling him wanting him to be as proud of himself as she is.

Despite his extensive knowledge he's discovered that there are gaps in his nerd-dom that Becca's been able to fill. Thanks to her influence he's discovered a love for all things Miyazaki, been drawn into the insane mind of Takashi Miike and begun to watch anime in earnest. Thanks to her he's also begun to learn Japanese, a language he never even considered learning before and discovered an aptitude for it. Something else for Becca to be proud of him for.

…

She knows he's not always going to be there.

Before Becca came into his life Spencer thought nothing of picking up and leaving at a moment's notice. He always had his ready bag near and was prepared to leave in the middle of the night if necessary. Now he has to consider that there's someone else in his life, someone he makes promises to and spends the night with. Someone he shares his time and life with. He has to take her into account.

At the beginning of their relationship he'd made arrangements to go on a weekend trip with her to Boston to attend a conference she was speaking at. He was so proud to be included in something that meant so much to her. He should have known that things wouldn't go as planned and, true to form, just as she finished packing he got the call and had to go. He could tell from the way her face dropped and her shoulders sagged that she was disappointed but she just kissed him and told him to be careful, she understood how much it meant to be there for his team and when he returned she simply held his hand and told him about the conference, no hard feelings.

He's seen so many relationships fall apart due to the demands of the job and the demands of partners that he's almost in awe of the relationship he has. He knows that it's because Becca understands the demands of the job. Working in the Office of Public Affairs has given her insight into the lives of the agents in the field. Her own work as a liaison has shown her the demands of the job and that knowledge makes his absences acceptable and allows her to truly savor the time they have together.

…

She knows he's non-confrontational.

He gets sick whenever they fight. He feels light headed his stomach lurches and his body feels heavy. He knows he's responding to the trauma left over from his parents but that does nothing to stop the physical responses from happening.

The first time they fought he nearly fainted. They were talking in her living room when he brought up that it was rare for people in their respective career fields and income levels to be couples. He also added that his doctorate and her single masters degree also proved to be a stumbling block in relationships. He'd brought it up because he thought it was interesting and she took it the wrong way. She thought he was saying he was better than her and loudly confronted him for it. He stumbled over apologies and tried to explain himself but that just seemed to fuel her fire and once she yelled he felt the blood drain from his face and he bent over, unable to hold himself up. That brought an end to the fight and she brought him a wet rag for his neck.

As they sat there and he recovered he calmly explained what he was saying and she blushed at her presumption. She explained that he was so smart that it made her feel stupid sometimes and the confession caused him to sit up. Her response was out of insecurity, something he could understand so he took her hand in his and made sure she knew just how smart she was and how she impressed him every day. It was what she needed to hear and they jumped that first hurdle together.

…

She knows that he loves her.

Spencer knew he was in love with Becca on their third date. They had spent the whole day visiting used book stores and farmers' markets around Arlington. He usually hated crowds but as he watched her smile at everyone and haggle for the best price for the zucchini he didn't feel as anxious. In fact he had a good time watching her and actually forgot that there were other people in the world while he was with her.

After they were done with the outside world they retreated to her place where she had him help her prepare dinner. He was surprised by how relaxed he was simply sitting in her kitchen peeling carrots and pouring wine. He was usually a ball of nervous energy, always needing to do something with his mind and hands but Becca calmed him down and as he watched her lean over the stove, her hair coming out of it's braid and sweat curling the wisps that framed her face he realized there was more to her than met the eye and there could be so much more to them. The realization was the start of his fall, but later that night when they had a heated debate regarding the supremacy of Deep Space Nine over the Original Series he knew he was in love. No other word or feeling could accurately describe what he felt as he looked into her eyes as she heatedly defended Deep Space Nine. No, love was the only one that came close and he claimed it. He knew he loved her, he just couldn't seem to bring himself to say it.

Becca is fully aware that Spencer loves her. She can tell by the way he looks at her, the amount of texts she receives in the day. She can tell it by the gifts he gives her for no reason at all and the fact that he has more stuff in her apartment than his own. She can tell that the feeling scares him and that he's not ready to let her know and that's enough for her. She doesn't need to hear the words, all she needs is her Spencer and when the time is right she'll hear those words. She knows she loves him too and as long as he knows it that's all she needs.

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**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! This story is an expansion and exploration based upon a story that I wrote in 2009 called "The Bet" I introduced the character of Becca and she's been dormant for a long time but a fellow fanfic writer and I have been discussing Criminal Minds for a while and Becca's come back in full force. I want to continue writing about her and wonder if you think I should start a story about her relationship with Spencer. I want to stress that she's not some Marysue, but most of these thoughts are the thoughts of a man in love. He knows she has flaws but can barely see them. If I continue I plan to explore these flaws and show the cracks in the armor of their relationship, the story wouldn't be a procedural case-based story but one that shows their life behind the scenes and of course the team would be included. Let me know if you like the story and want me to start something new. Thank you all in advance for writing and reviewing.


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